its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
