A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize