i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
