I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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