I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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