U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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