google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
