nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
