I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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