I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
