Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
