that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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