Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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