just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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