What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
