she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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