Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
