do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
