cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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