Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Rumble strips road head = magical
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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