We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I understand Curling. That high.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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