ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
