i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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