There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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