did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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