I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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