im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
