genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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