I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
