the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
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