It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize