what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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