he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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