Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
