3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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