At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
