Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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