The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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