I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
