It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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