47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize