I hate your face
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We named our party play list daddy issues
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
