WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
