Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
