Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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