That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
