8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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