so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
this will be a night to untag.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
