At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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