we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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