i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
