i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
