Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
