I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
