i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
