Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
