Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
