just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dicks are not precious.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
