ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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