Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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