Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
