It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I color on your dick again?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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