it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
