This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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