yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
