I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
