What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
